I left off in the last blog talking about a few struggles of my first year on the registry. As I think back I can recall a few other incidents that stuck out even though it has been almost 15 years ago. Being on the registry for the first few years was challenging in and of itself but I was also on house arrest for one year and 4 years of probation. So I was basically fighting two demons. I would have to go and re register every 3 months. This consisted of going in to the DMV filling out a specific paperwork, making sure none of your information had changed and if it changed you would have to update it, then signing a few papers agreeing to the rules of being on the registry and lastly taking a picture like you do when you are getting your drivers licenses or state ID and then they'd give me this card like an ID card just as a constant reminder that I was on the registry. One of the most humiliating things in the world. Having to walk out of there every 3 months with your new "pervert card" is how it felt sometimes. Most times i would just take it and hide it until the next time it was time to return it for the new one.
I would also have to check in regularly with my probation officer as well. If I'm not mistaken while on house arrest it was either weekly or biweekly but it was more times than I wanted too! We were given regular drug urine test which were always administered with an officer watching and were sometimes schedule and sometimes random which that part I had no issue with either way because thankfully drugs were never an issue for me. I also had a nice piece of ankle jewelry that I had to wear which was hard to explain to my 4 year old and harder to get comfortable with especially in the summer time. I remember having to have permission to do anything outside of work or school(if you were in either) and having to be home on the weekend. I recall once where i had a misunderstanding and had gotten approved to go to church one Sunday and thought it was approved for every Sunday. I recall being in church and the ankle bracelet started making noise and my phone started ringing. I was so embarrassed, I stepped out to answer and it was my very very extremely upset parole officer wanting to know where the hell I was . I explained to him at church and he asked with who's permission and I told him I thought I had his, since I had gotten it for last Sunday. He couldn't believe that I actually went to church every Sunday and after telling me a few choice words he allowed me to stay but said I needed to come in and see him the following day. I think after some fussing and cursing he allowed me a few hours on Sundays for church with some signed paperwork from my pastor. No extra services or afternoon activities were granted, honestly I didn't even ask!
Another incident that weighs heavily with me is the time we were almost put out of our homes because of my registration status. We had been living in these townhomes/ apartments about 4/5 years before this incident even happened and it was basically within walking distance from a private school in the area. As I stated earlier there were some "rules and regulations" that came alone with being on the registry. One of them was not living a certain amount of feet from a school. So as word continued to travel around this small town about me someone took it upon themselves to inform our property manager mad the landlord of the apartments. She later shows up to our home with a sad face, sealed envelop and an apology". The letter was basically stating that it had been brought to their attention about me being on the registry and because of the distance of our place and the school I had a limited time to move because I was not in compliance with the law. This was crushing, not just to me, but to my family. For my mom this was a safe place, it was a place we had moved into after our old place had gotten broken into several times and once even in the daylight, and our place before then there was shooting all the time. So now she was getting up in age, on dialysis and needed to feel safe in the neighborhood she was in and there was not to many neighborhoods like that. It was also crushing to me because of my 5 year old son at the time this was also a safe place for him, I would take him outside and he was meeting new friends, thriving and growing! Wirh this news I had to snap out of it and think fast, I had to either try to find somewhere for me to live so that my mom would not have to leave her safe place or find a new place for all of us. During the time of me looking for housing options I also started reading up on some of these rules and regulations. This reading paid off more than the looking. I dug deeper into the rules and found my loophole and saved my home! There was a law that stated if you lived in the place within a certain year before you became on the registry then you could be allowed to stay! I found this out, told my mom and she instructed me to put it in writing just a they did and send a certified copy to the landlord, property manager and myself so we could all have a copy! I did just that and a few days later the property manager came back, this time with a forced smile, sealed envelope and an apology. The sealed envelope this time contained a formal apology and confirmation that we no longer had to leave our residence. We were thankful and relieved that that battle had been won. I knew in my heart there was still a war ahead but I let myself and my family enjoy that win because we all needed it!!
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