In The Middle of the Storm, part2.. a moment of transparency and vulnerability!

I am attempting to write part two of the "right now" blogs, versus the series of what I had been working on. I am thinking there will be a part two and possibly a part three before I go back to my normal series. As I stated before these blogs are not for sympathy, nor are they just for me to vent or rant. I don't know why, but I truly feel there is a purpose behind be sharing these experiences while I am still in the middle of them. It is sometimes so much easier to testify about what God HAS done, or what God HAS already brought you out of, or the bad thoughts that God HAS already delivered you from, but what about what you are believing and trusting Him to BRING you out of? What about those things that are still troubling you? Well I feel this time I am being led to tell about it while in the middle of it, maybe to bless somebody else or maybe to look back and see when tis all over what God really did! Either way, its not an easy task, seeing as if some events are a little embarrassing and not easy to share.

My two children and myself are currently staying in a shelter. The shelter staff are beautiful people, majority of them are kind, caring and very understanding, and for that we are so forever grateful. The shelter is only a evening/night shelter, therefore everyone has to check out in the morning at 8AM, EVERYDAY, weekends/holidays included and check back in at 5 that evening. We as a family are blessed to have a "family room" which includes all our beds in one room that we don't have to share with anyone except each other, which is a huge blessing to be able to not have to share your private space with others that you don't know! There is a community kitchen, but none of us that live here are allowed to use it for sanitary purposes, only staff and nightly volunteers. Therefore we either eat during the day, bring a snack or food, or we have kind community volunteers that bring in a main course, side dishes, dessert and sometimes snacks nightly. We never really know who is bringing dinner, or what dinner will be before we get there because every night there are new volunteers and new people providing the meals. The shelter guest are all fed because the kindness of strangers.

There is a male and female bathroom with two stalls each, two sinks and also a family bathroom with one stall and one sink. There is a community room with tables and chairs where you are more than welcome to eat in there if you don't want to eat in your room and there is also a "play" room with books, puzzles, games, a computer and a few other things that are available for all shelter guests! There are no showers, but we are able to take wash-ups or go to the day shelter, or a community church to shower. Those are just a few details about the shelter, some details I don't speak on for others privacy or just respect for other shelter guest. All and all, it is a great place that operates off the kindness of donations and volunteers and really have a heart for the less fortunate people in the community!

As far as my comfort level and what we are used to some of the details are very hard to deal with. I always find myself missing those things that I once took for granted, like taking a shower, right before bed and going to bed feeling fresh out the shower, cooking my own meal or going in the fridge in the middle of the night and grabbling a snack or a cold water or juice. Sending the kids in the kitchen to grab you something lol. We surely missing sleeping in on the weekend or those days when school is out, or just being able to lounge around through the house on days when you just don't have to go out! Waking up in the middle of the night going to the bathroom without having to make sure you're properly dressed. Laying in bed watching our favorite show or tuning in to a movie before bed. These are just a few things that I see now living in your own place you take for granted until you are not able to do them again. They seem so small and simple until they aren't so common anymore.

Through it all, I do try to remain positive, I try to make sure the kids are upbeat and ok, since we have to be out on the weekends through the day, I try to make the best of that time and find something constructive to do for the oldest and something fun and/ or constructive to do for the youngest. I try to make these times more like adventures, daily task and errands versus not having a choice to be out. We do things like going to breakfast, library, children museum, the movies, of course church, and anything we may see going on that weekend that looks interesting. Thankfully this winter has not had many brutal brutally cold days and we have been able to walk to some of our destinations without freezing to death!

On the other end I am working hard daily to find us a new place. I am working with social workers, care coordinators and anyone else I can work with to help us find a place. The children and I still pray for our new place and the youngest and I sometimes go to different stores and look around in the home decor section and she tells me things we can put in our new house and I always go right alone with her and tell her yes that's a good idea, because I don't want her to lose faith, as long as they both believe that God is going to give us a new place, then I know God won't let them or me down. I have a few applications in place and I have also signed up for a few programs that could possible assist with helping us find a place. Everything is 10 times harder for me based off my legal situation and being on the registry. I have to fight harder, looker harder, apply more, and seek out other options more than others may have to.

The final thing I want to address in this blog is the most difficult. As I said in part one, these things have been going on for a few months, before the start of 2024 and it has been an emotional roller-coaster. I rarely have asked for help, prayers, or any assistance from anyone aside from the different programs that I have been advised to sign up for. I know The Bible tells us we have not because we ask not, and i have been told many times that a closed mouth don't get fed. So if you feel led at all to want to bless us any kind of way financially, I will leave my cash App below. Since Monday is a holiday and the kids will be out of school, I am considering getting a hotel room for a few nights so that we can be able to sleep in, shower when we want, relax, watch a little TV and not have to get out in the cold until we want to. I did this a while ago and it was a wonderful time, just what we needed for that time, and I feel since president day is coming up and they will be out of school, now would be a good time to do so again. A Time to enjoy those things that we have been missing while living in the shelter. I am also saying toward a deposit in case I am approved for some of the applications I am waiting to hear back from, I will already be prepared to pay and not have to wait to be approved by some program and lose my spot. So if you feel led to contribute to any of that we would be forever grateful. Please don't feel compelled to do so, because this was not the reason for this blog, however, I do feel that me never asking for help may be why we are still in this situation. Be not wanting to be a burden or me not wanting to intrude on anyone else life because I know everyone has issue may be blocking the blessing of someone who God has out there that wants to bless us, and maybe that someone may read this blog. I do have cashapp, paypal, venmo, and chime I won't list all of them right now. I know there are other ways to contribute secretly, but that would have to be set up and I am not even sure if anyone wants to do that. Asking all together is a difficult because I don't want to turn my blog into a place where people feel obligated to assist me because I share our story, I only want you to be moved by God, not by my story because I know if God moves you to bless, He can bless you far better than I can ever thank you!

Thank you again for your continued reading and support, this is the end of part two, I may do a part three to wrap up everything and then return to my series "my homeless journey" and "life as a RSO" ! Thank you and God bless.

CAshapp: $Cupcakes101 IF you are interested in other ways, please just message me privately. Thank you!