When we left off in my last blog, I was being so kindly escorted by a police officer to the police station to await the decision of the judge on bail. The jail was only an extremely short ride from the police station, so it didn't take long for us to make it there. As short as the ride is, that did not stop my mind from wandering the whole time we were in the truck. I couldn't believe that a simple ride to clear my mind and just look around could lead to a ride in the back of a police car, actually heading to jail!
Once we arrived, the police let me out of the car and led me to the front of the police station. I can't fully remember if I was required to change clothes into theirs or allowed to keep my own clothes on, I guess that part is blurry as well. I do remember them making sure I didn't have any personal belongings or anything on me and I know that I was patted down for weapons or anything of that nature. After all the basics was done, I was then escorted to the area where I would be staying. Because all I knew about the inside of a jail what I had seen on TV I didn't know what to expect. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the worse. Once I got inside, it wasn't as bad as I had expected, but It of course wasn't "home". The first thing I noticed was the other young ladies that was in there, most I didn't know, but If I'm not mistaken, I think one or two knew of me, sadly because of my mom being a retired teacher and the "candy lady" at school. Imagine the embarrassment when they said "aren't you Ms. Mason's daughter" I wasn't so much embarrassed for myself but for her, because everyone that knew her, knew what she stood for, and it wasn't any jail mess. I think that out of the two that recognized me, I did know one of them. After some very short, small talk, the question I knew was coming, finally had come. "So, what you in for"? Although I wasn't fully even aware of what I would be charged with at the time, I knew I didn't want them to even know what it even had to do with. I had heard someone say earlier they were there due to back fines, so I said the same thing, just worded different. My respond was "I'm here because of old tickets", They accepted that answer and thankfully that was the end of the question-and-answer period.
At the time I first got there we were kind of all like in this larger opened room with cafeteria stye tables and seating, and then there were each smaller separate individual rooms each with a door made of bars to shut them off for us individually. I guess I must have arrived either before, during, or right shortly after lunch time, because I do remember getting a plate. I remember a sandwich and juice, and something else that I'm not quite sure of. I really didn't have much of an appetite, so the first person that asked if I wanted my sandwich told them no and gave it to them. I did attempt to taste the juice, but it tasted simply like watered down, hot, red juicy juice. So that was the end of me trying to drink the juice. I just sat there and looked around and listened to everyone else eat and have their conversations.
Shortly after, I guess that was all the free time that was allowed at the moment, because we all had to go into our individual cells. In these cells where a bed (if you want to call it that) a low commode with a black lid, and basically a wall. It was at that moment, while I was alone with my thoughts, my very first time going to a very dark place. Sitting and wondering how it would be if I had to use that commode, wondering what it would be like trying to actually sleep on this "bed" wake up there, shower, have breakfast. Then wondering things like "how long would it take this judge to set a bail, how much would it be, how would my mom get the money for it, would he even set a bail? From there I started to wonder what I would be charged with, what would happen to me, what would happen to my mom and my son, just bombarded with thoughts. Bad, sad, thoughts, until eventually I guess the exhaustion of the days leading up to this day, lack of sleep and overthinking, some way, at some point I leaned against the wall and dosed off. I don't know how, don't know how long, but I did, and it was much needed.
I first would like to again thank you for taking your time reading this blog. If you have been following and reading for a while or if this is your first time visiting, I thank you all the same. Please feel free to subscribe so that you will be alerted when new blogs are available. Feel free to leave any feedback via comments or messages. Again, thank you and God bless.
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