This blog is where I start to undress. Not undress in the natural of course, but this is where things start to unfold that leads up the reason behind the blog itself. This is where faith has to take full control. Faith that God is in control of everything I write and say, and that He continues to guide my fingers as I type and guard my heart as I am forced to relive some of the hardest moments of my life. As I write and reveal things, I continue to remind myself, that my story will bless somebody else. Save lives, restore relationships with God and family and let someone know that they are not alone. So, with that being said, it is an honor to expose myself for the glory of God!
Well, I am sure you have gathered that things with my "Mr. Right" had gone completely wrong. We had gone from strangers, lovers and friends to strangers again. After a while of things slowly changing, at some point he came clean and expressed that the relationship we had was not one he wanted to be involved in any longer. I am sure I must have tried to block some of this conversation out because I can't quite remember his reasoning behind it. I think he partially wanted to just be friends, and just didn't see us to being a good fit anymore. I was in denial because I had seen the signs coming, but I was still doing all I could be make it work. However, the best relationship I had been in was officially over. I wanted forever and didn't even get a year.
On Sunday, July 26, 2009, I got up like any other Sunday and prepared for church. A while or so before that day I remember going to buy two dresses. I wasn't much of a "dress person" but since there was a special occasion coming up, I thought, why not get cute and enjoy the day. My original plans were over, but i decided to still wear my dress to church and be cute. So I got dressed for church and my mom, myself and my son attended church as usual. I remember after church going to my aunt's house and seeing my aunt and my dad and a few other family members. If I remember correctly, I think my aunt had cooked dinner that day, we visited with her a while, I took some pictures with my dad and son, and we went about our day to go back home.
Once we were back home, my mom and son did what "normal" folk do on Sundays after dinner, they took a nap. I think my mom did wake up long enough for me to let her know I was going to go for a drive. Still in my birthday dress and still very unhappy from my recent heartbreak I decided to go for a Sunday drive just to clear my mind. You see, my Mr. Right's birthday was 3 days before mine, and before our breakup, I just knew we would be celebrating our birthday together. I was never one that really knew how to make a big deal about myself on my birthdays. I had never really done a lot to celebrate, the way I had seen other people celebrated. Birthdays weren't always a big deal in our home, we did something small and acknowledged each other, showed some love and that was about it. For some reason today, this particular day, that wasn't enough. I wanted more, I had looked forward to more, and I had expected to celebrate my first birthday with the man I loved. Since all that had changed, I wasn't sure what to do with myself, so I went for a ride. The ride that changed my life forever.
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